Can midfulness help with apologising
According to a recent study, people who practised mindfulness were more likely to apologise than those who mind-wandered. Read below the full story!
It’s not always easy to say sorry.
When we injure someone, we may be reluctant to admit it as it makes people feel terrible, contradicts our views about being a decent person, or implies acknowledging that we are flawed human beings. We may want to defend our actions and say that the other person is minimising our own role in causing them harm.
How can we improve our apology skills and therefore foster stronger relationships?
According to one new study, practising mindfulness may be beneficial.
Undergraduate students were asked to think back to a time when they hurt or offended someone else (like a friend, family member or coworker) and the disagreement didn’t get worked out.
Following that, the group was divided into two sections. The first group completed a 15-minute guided mindfulness exercise that focused on the breath, while the second group did a group led mind-wandering exercise in which they were encouraged to let their minds wander.
They were then asked just how they felt about apologising to the person versus not apologising or making reasons or rationales for their behaviour. Then they were told to write a note to the victim, with no guidance on whether or not to apologise.
Study results
When the researchers analysed the notes, they discovered that people who practised mindfulness were more likely to apologise than those who mind-wandered. In fact they were more likely to add comments like “I’m sorry” or “I apologise” to their notes. They were also more motivated to apologise, as seen by their survey responses.
According to the study’s principal researcher, this shows that midfulness can help with apologising
One technique to encourage apologies is to encourage individuals to think in the present moment. Individuals can be taught to be attentive to their current states in as little as 15 minutes.
What could be the reason behind this? Nobody knows for sure because there has been very little research on how being more conscious may affect us when we injure others. Prior studies have shown that being more conscious assists victims of offences in being more forgiving. It also appears to enhance connections in general.
Participants in the study were polled on how mindful they are in general, as well as how often they apologise when they offend someone.
Participants were also asked to recall a time when they had wounded another person and write about it.
Following that, they reported on how much they wanted to justify their behaviour (how much they agreed with statements such as “It’s OK to show my anger even if there is a risk of rising hostility,” or “It’s not essential to manage myself enough to avoid the escalation of conflict” versus how particularly worried they were about conserving their relationship.
People actually want to apologise
The clear majority agreed that it is better not to display anger than to risk escalating confict, or that collaboration with the counterpart must be maintained during disagreement. They also expressed their desire to apologise for this situation.
After analysing the findings, the researchers discovered that people with high levels of mindfulness had a decreased urge to defend themselves. Also it would limit their negative emotions running wild. As a result, individuals showed greater worry and care for others, which tended to improve their motivation to apologise.
When mindfulness decreases negative states, it appears to raise positive states as well, which leads to apologising. It appears that there must be a change from negativity to optimism.
Overall, the findings indicate that being more conscious may boost our motivation to apologise. This could be because, as her study reveals, mindfulness makes us feel less defensive and, as a result, helps us evaluate the value of the other person in the disagreement more. Or there could be another explanation that was overlooked in her research.
Teaching simple mindfulness practises (such as focused breathing) could help more individuals express regret. This is especially true in places where people have a lot of conflict, such as workplaces or other places where people work together. It’s simply easier to express apologies.
Getting people to slow down and pay attention to what’s going on right now could help them move more easily from a place of conflict to understanding and forgiveness.
By apologising, we can get offenders to focus on the present moment, which lets everyone have better interactions with each other.
Learn more about mindfulness and the 10 benefits that come with long time meditation.
#Mindfulness #Apologising