Most of us suffer from fear in some form or another, whether it’s fear of what other people think of us, fear of not being enough, fear of failure, or dread of what could happen in the future.
When dread rears its head, we might become overwhelmed or crippled by it, or we can become absorbed with fighting it.
However, these methods of dealing with fear frequently increase and prolong it. They also tend to restrict our skills and keep us from doing things that aren’t beneficial for us.
But there is a way to overcome fear.
An Asian tale about overcoming fear
There’s an old East Asian legend about this
Once upon a time, there was a young warrior whose teacher advised him that he needed to fight with dread. He didn’t want to do it since it appeared too forceful, intimidating, and unpleasant.
However, the teacher stated that there was no other option and that they had to do it. Then it began to give him fighting instructions. When the day came, the student fighter was on one side, and fear was on the other. Fear was looking large and wrathful, and the warrior was feeling very little.
They were both armed. “May I go into a fight with you?” The young warrior roused himself and walked toward fear with dread. Fear said, “Thank you for showing me so much respect by asking for permission.” “How can I beat you?” replied the warrior, wondering whether Fear would actually reply.
Fear said, “It’s simple. My powers reside in my ability to speak so quickly and up close to your face so that I overwhelm you. Then, you will get annoyed and start acting as I say. If you do not comply, then I have no authority. This is how you can beat me.”
In this way, the student fighter learned how to overcome fear.
Changing our perception on fear
While fear is a perfectly natural feeling, when it takes over, it hijacks our capacity to behave with awareness, purpose, and clarity. But if we can learn to respond to fear rather than react to it, fear loses its grasp on us, it no longer has control over us, and we reconnect with awareness, serenity, and inner strength.
How would we go about doing that?
We don’t have to be overwhelmed by fear, push it away, or run away from it; instead, we may train ourselves to attend to it with mindfulness and compassion.
In this way, we can take a step back and clearly see fear, rather than being hijacked by it.
We might also perceive fear in a different light. We can observe that it is made up of bodily experiences in the body. There may also be associated thoughts, and while the sensations can be intense and unpleasant, fear ultimately has little power over us unless we react to it.
A straightforward exercise to fight fear
I invite you to attempt this easy three-step pause exercise the next time you feel fear arise in your day-to-day life, whether it’s in the form of concern, social anxiety, dread that you are not good enough, or tension that things will not go the way you want.
1. Make a point of calling it out so you can tame it.
Take a moment, take a long steady breath, and mentally note to yourself, “OK, fear is building up.”
This is a method of bringing attentive acceptance to what is happening and allowing you to take a step back from it.
2. Incorporate Love into the Fight Against Fear.
Next, consider if you can create compassion for yourself and the fear. Instead of opposing dread or viewing it negatively, consider approaching it with the same attitude you would have toward a loved one who was in pain. Face the fear with love.
It might be beneficial to think that you are breathing compassion and gentleness into and out of the areas of your body where you are most aware of the emotion’s feelings. Another way is to place your hand where you are experiencing those sensations.
3. Keep going regardless.
Remember how fear warned the student fighter, “If you do not do what I say, I have no power,” and how he learnt to beat fear in this way?
It is not necessary to eliminate fear in order to overcome it. It is about having a meaningful and satisfying life despite the fact that fear is a part of our existence.
Even though fear is there, seek to reconnect with what matters to you and act in the moment based on your values and heart’s wishes. That could mean asking someone out despite your nerves, engaging in a conversation despite your anxiety, or applying for a job you’re worried you won’t be good enough for.
It could be making the decision to let go of overthinking and worrying and return to focusing on the people, the surroundings, and the moment that you’re in right now.
Conclusion
As you go about your daily life this week, keep training yourself to meet fear with mindfulness and compassion, and as much as possible, let your actions be defined by your values rather than your fears.
#Defeat #Fear #Practice #Love